Wheels and Wankers

Someone pointed us to the website for an event called Wheels and Waves and boy, I haven’t stopped laughing since. What is this bullshit? Google translate is a little funny, from what I can tell it’s a bunch of euro hipsters meeting up for a weekend to go for a ride in some French town. Instead of meeting up  and just riding your motorcycle it has to be an “event”. You see they wouldn’t be caught dead doing something as pedestrian as going for a ride with some friends.

Don’t be a fucking idiot! How can anyone be expected to go out and enjoy a motorcycle ride without, brand sponsors, photographers,  film crews and art shows, you uncultured swine! How can you sit on your motorcycle if it’s not directly behind a camera van? For some good laughs, go here and look at the photos and videos section of this site. http://www.wheels-and-waves.com/photos   ww14-benoit-guerry-002-682x1024Ah yes, essential in every motorcyclist’s tool kit. $7000 Camera, never leave home without it. Never know when you’ll need to pull over to the side of the road and take pictures of yourself holding tools.

ww14-benoit-guerry-043-682x1024See what I mean! When your hair looks this good after wearing a helmet, a high quality camera is needed to document it.

ww14-dimitri-coste-001-1024x682“Hurry guys, the camera van is leaving, everyone comb your beards and put on your badass face”

ww14-benoit-guerry-017-1024x682 (1)This guy is very upset he forgot his headlight tape at home.

ww14-benoit-guerry-018-1024x682So cute, these guys decided to coordinate their costumes. I want to believe that they all just bought some vintage flights suits from ebay but I have feeling they’re wearing this nonsense because some company is selling these as motorcycle riding gear for some ludicrous price.

ww14-benoit-guerry-012-682x1024Hmmm, a guy on a very nice bevel drive Ducati, wearing a modern helmet and actual riding gear. Maybe the poor guy got lost and ended up in the middle of this group of posers?

ww14-benoit-guerry-011-682x1024Oh man this bike again! How have these guys just not been laughed out of every single motorcycle related thing ?

ww14-dimitri-coste-035-1024x682Well at least this helmet manufacturer is honest about who they make their helmets for, rich idiots in costumes.

ww14-benoit-guerry-019-682x1024He always travels with his personal photographer.

ww14-benoit-guerry-042-1024x682“hehehe yeah and then BMW gave me a free motorcycle can you believe it”

69 thoughts on “Wheels and Wankers

  1. Most of these guys aren’t even hipsters. I see them around a lot. They seem to just be sad old men looking to capture a misspent youth they never had by throwing money at ridiculous contrivances.

  2. ha ha ha thought it wouldn’t be long before an attack was launched on this one.

    Despite the poncy coverage of this event, it is a good event, and most of the people who go are just guys with bikes who do ride all the time. I go there, and the ride through the mountains is super fast and its a blast. Great fast mountain riding on classic bikes.

    “You see they wouldn’t be caught dead doing something as pedestrian as going for a ride with some friends.” – That is not true. There were some 2000 or so bikes this year, you think none of them ever ride other than at this event??? come on.
    You never went to a bike event?
    You never went to a bike event with your camera?

    surely this is no different to a dirt bike event or a sports bike event, where all you can see is sports bike brand names emblazoned on helmets and t shirts everywhere. Flickr is cram packed with photo galleries of various bike shows and events all captured on expensive SLR cameras.

    Some people just don’t like that modern shit. Safe and stylish as it may be, I don’t like modern bike aesthetics, or modern bike gear aesthetics, (except dirt bike stuff ha )
    Yes there is a lot of ‘hipster’ types there, but that means girls come too. A bike event that actually has lots of girls there!!!!

    To Captain Beardface, why don’t you tell Most of these guys when you see them, to their face, that they are sad old men???

    • you are missing the point.. this website is just amazing.. makes my day everytime i see a new post.
      make no mistake, i love vintage bikes.. unfortunately i have to see them prices skyrocket due to these million dollar morons.

      i live in argentina and this shit has spread this far..

    • We make fun of what we see, if you’re not like the guys in the video and you were there, you should be on our side, laughing at these idiots. Not defending them.

      • I saw a bunch of pretty young girls in the pics, where there are pretty young girls, there are creepy old men, trying to fuck them.

        • Yes ha a lot of ‘these people’ are my friends. up until about 7 years ago any bike show/ride i went on consisted of rainy trips to British auto jumbles, sprint races etc etc, full to the hilt with old men. Conversations like “what diameter is your amal carburetor?” that’s fine,i like bikes but at this event one gets to ride and party with chicks, get drunk, surrounded by bikes friends and chicks, picturesque mountains, the sea, sun, party, ride bikes, more girls and a good mix of ages/demographics. I think that’s fun. yea you have yer creepy old men, but at least its not only creepy old men ha ha

      • Ha yea, I think in the case of the coverage, its “do shoot the messenger” for its the huge influx of photographers that is the weird side effect of this scene. old bikes do break on route, and tools are needed to do roadside repairs. Bam! theres a photographer there documenting it. cant help that!

      • What’s the actual problem with this? It’s a group of people riding motorcycles. I don’t mind poking fun at people but I’m not sure why everyone’s hating on these guys. So what they ride vintage bikes and take pictures. Who cares how they dress? Calling it a costume… Have you seen 90% of Harley riders these days. Weekend warriors with there sleveless black H-D shirts and bandanas. Walking advertisements for Harley Davidson, those are costumes. They are hipsters. I love the fact that more people are into motorcycling and I could careless how they go about it as long as it’s safe. What they wear or ride doesn’t matter, it’s about fun and freedom. People need to embrace all types of riders, cause that’s what it’s about riding and enjoying life. Everyone is someone else’s hipster these days. I see riders not posers, even if they don’t meet someone standards.

        • Either you see the problem, or you don’t. Either way, it’s fun. We’re on this side, pointing and snickering at their overpriced open face brain buckets and designer bomber jackets, and they’re over there shaking their heads at our Joe Racer wannabe boots and our titanium-plated gauntlets.

          But you did mention safety. Homie running that old beater sideways on the grassy shoulder in his retro wear was far from being safe. More like stupid. And it’s been my experience that a lot of the younger hipsters riding the more clapped out Japanese bombs tend to have very littlle seat time and even less training.

          • Yeah. A bit of gravel rash and they will all be back on their ‘fixie’

            I reckon the younger ones will all give up on bikes and move on to the next thing soon anyway.

            Microlighting hipsters?… They’ve already got the flying jackets!

        • We get this argument a lot, just because there are other types of stupid motorcyclist doesn’t mean we can’t make fun of these ones.

          The other problem is that it’s really not about riding, this is all about appearance, art, pretension, it’s more important to look the part, act the part and try to convince others you’re some kind of moto artist. Very little of this scene is about the enjoyment of riding a motorcycle.

          • arrgh i was agreeing with odead1.
            But, to hnastyesq, of the friends i have in this new scene, it is very much about riding, and the bikes, but with a different aesthetic, that moves away from the robocop helmets and power ranger leathers. I always hated the look of modern bike gear. but a side effect of this scene is the mass documentation, and a lot of brands, clothing companies, etc, they have latched on to this and want to take pictures of it all!!! and give people free bike gear!! and use people with beards and hot girlfriends for high end fashion shoots, for money, and free apparel! “Hi this is belstaff, we will give you money, and free jackets, and catering all day, all You have to do is ride Your bike past our store on opening night, are you in??”
            “hmmm, erm, will there be models at the after party???”
            But yea there are some cringe worthy videos for sure, but a lot of the people in the videos are laughing about it themselves. I say ride this shit out, then when it inevitably ends, ill go back to traipsing around rainy vintage bike events with a floppy £5 hamburger in my hand talking about amal carbs ha ha ha

            • Do I wish there were more girls and better food at legit motorcycles events? Sure I do, do I still think all this stuff is hilarious and a good time to make fun of? Yep.

            • You are fighting a good corner CFH.

              I wore Belstaff gear back in the 80’s. It was the only shit that kept you dry other than fishing gear. Am I going to pay £600 for a Belstaff jacket now? Hell no! I’ll spend it on upgraded suspension or decent tyres.

              • BOB yea I would not pay that for a belstaff or any other jacket, I’m very much a secondhand/car boot sale type. another mans junk and all that. they gave us belstaffs so i have one, but I have since realised it is not a biker belstaff, it has no hard padding, i saw tha bike ones, they have hard plastic bits on the elbows and stuff. I keep dry with those cheapo plastic waterproofs from the army surplus store!

            • Agreed Max, it’s very much about the riding! I have a beat up old BMW boxer and a custom Kawasaki W650, and I have them for riding! So what if I wear an open face helmet and a Triumph jacket when I do – so sue me! Last I checked it’s a free world, and my perogative to look good on my bike if I want to 😉

              I really wanted to make it to W&W this year, but I couldn’t – coming from Cape Town makes it a bit far and expensive. I’ll try for 2015 though, if I do, remind me to buy you a beer!

              And just remember – the practice of mocking someone because they’ve chosen a different path than you gets very stale, very quickly. Most people grow out of it when they leave high school in fact.

              Ironically, this very site is like the supposed ‘problem’ that it is mocking. The general feeling is that the internet has popularised and perpetuated the custom bike scene to the point that it’s about trend rather than substance. The irony is that you can only poke fun at this ‘scene’ because you’re only absorbing it via the internet, and then sitting behind a keyboard and spewing forth criticism. If you actually met any of these people in real life, you may have a very different opinion of them (and be a little less hasty to call them ‘idiots’).

          • Are you trying to say some 3/4 $1200 Ruby helmet that’s not even DOT/SNELL is the same thing as a $600 Arai? I have no problem with looking vintage or whatever, my problem is passing off fashion nonsense as actual gear. I can link you to about a 100 examples if you want.

            • Yea Harvard J Nasty,Esq The ruby’s are the most pricey, and these photographers seem obsessed with taking photos of people wearing them. A lot of the open face lids in use are davidas (high quality tested to uk standard) and other brands. Yep we all know about the 100’s of dot/snell lids available, but again, they are not to everyones taste. dont wanna look like a power ranger, or robocop. rather look like grandad, the crazy frog, or wallace and grommit

            • Dickhead, the Ruby has full EU certification, which is a lot more stringent that the lame arse US certification. Designed and manufactured by someone who actually races motorcycles, Dimitri Coste.

              • Maybe you mean SNELL certified, cause I’ve never heard of EU certifications. Which they’re not by the way

              • ECE 22.05 is like our DOT helmets, not a bad standard, but they wouldn’t pass SNELL, because they’ll let you smash your face in too easily. Impacts to the lower front of your head are the very most common in a crash, so open face helmets are like no helmet at all for over a third of the accidents you might have. You’ll never see a Ruby on Marc Marquez on the racetrack.

          • I agree modern gear is expensive but it works. I had years of getting wet and freezing my tits off. Now i’m toasty and ride much more relaxed for it. Waxed cotton was never that good and how they can charge so much for it now makes me cringe. A lot of the price of new gear goes on developing new materials and assessing safety… money better spent than paying a celeb to advertise bike jackets as fashion items.

  3. There were girls there! …Shit I’m going next year.

    Though I probably wont be allowed to ride because I hate beards and ride a jap sportsbike. I think what bugs people so much about these guys is how cliquey all this shit is. I have always liked biking for it’s inclusivity. Look at
    the Ace Cafe… nights for all types of petrolheads not just Cafe/bobber/beardy/hipster types.

  4. Oh, yeah, whenever we go on a ride, we make sure we invite some old street rods, doesn’t everybody? I can’t imaging going on a ride with only motorcycles – do people do that?

    • Hi scott, Its a classic and custom bike ‘event’, with some classic cars too. Most classic bike/ car events have a variety of both. You might not invite street rods on your ‘rides’, but If you had a classic and custom bike and car event I think you would expect both no? or would you be cliquey and tell the street rod guys to bugger off!!!?

  5. Old bikes are cool, no doubt. Custom bikes are cool, too, although subject to a matter of taste. But there seems to be a faintly disturbing phenomena which causes some people to take things a bit too far. I appreciate that Hipster Bike Videos exists to make fun of those people.

    I attended two vintage bike gatherings. One was held in a public parking lot, and the organizers passed out a map of a ride route through the surrounding foothills that people could take at their leisure. The other gathering started at a high-end vintage leather boutique, took off on a mass ride up the coast to a biker lunch spot that was totally unprepared for this crowd (and was already being overrun by a Lamborghini club, of all things), and ended at a vintage bike custom shop.

    Guess which gathering was the clusterfuck?

  6. Love how they use DSLR cameras and iPhones to take pictures of themselves holding the old-school “keep it the fuck real” analog cameras so that they can be immortalized in digital format on the Internet.

  7. Hipsters are a strange strange breed. Extremely pretentious and cliquey. We were at a motorcycle club show in Chicago and it was full of hipsters and rockabilly people who made me feel I was transformed back to 1956.

    I swear they’re all cliquey as fuck. If anyone tried saying guys who are “jocks” are stuck jn highschool, it’s actually these tools who are. I got some looks because I wore pair of Abercrombie jeans and a nice shirt. I’m clean cut and in shape n have 2 triumphs. It’s like I wasn’t apart of their scene and ruined it lmao.

  8. It took me a little while to remember where I’ve seen a combination of a stupid motorcycling fad peaking AND a good mockery website. Then again, it was 10 years ago: https://web.archive.org/web/20040902003811/http://www.chopperflop.com/

    If that’s anything to go by, we have 4 more years maximum of this nauseating crap left to laugh at. Then it’ll all be like pale green polyester leisure suits – everyone old enough remembers them, but nobody admits to wearing one.

    I’m confident that, some day, my grandkids will wear hipster biker costumes bought off the campy halloween sale rack for dirt cheap.

  9. It’s funny, after discovering this site a few months back I’ve started to notice that motorcycles in general, but especially vintage/cafe bikes have become very trendy across the whole spectrum of pop culture advertising these days. Print ads, Broadcast, you name it.

    One glaring example was a men’s clothing catalog my wife got in the mail full of crazy expensive clothes that basically looked like old j crew overstock that was repackaged, and marked up about 500%. Anyway, as I was flipping through laughing at the $2500 cotton vests & $5000 leather paisley print pants I happened to come across a full page spread that featured a vintage CB 750. But, before you start to panic.. the snarky looking shithead (not sure you could actually call him a hipster) featured in the ad wasn’t on the bike. It was parked and he was walking by. Sort of sending the message that he’s too much of a pussy to actually be riding the bike, but somehow is supposed to look cooler because he happens to be walking past it. There’s a vintage bike in this man’s vicinity! He must be super badass!

    My whole point to this story is that to me the use of a bike, vintage or otherwise, to sell a ridiculous leisure suit to a market that likely has no interest or intention of ever riding, isn’t much different than a lot of what is featured on this site. I see it as advertising.. it’s not reality. Sure, there are assholes that go out and buy vintage bikes because they’re trendy, and feel like they’re part of a special club, but I see them as sad, insecure people who are attaching themselves to a trend that’s totally temporary. They’ll be building custom sailboats from reclaimed bathtubs, or whatever it is that’s hip & new next year. What they don’t realize is that the “lifestyle” they’re chasing doesn’t really exist. These scenarios full of $7000 prop cameras, custom bikes and overpriced, unsafe “gear” are produced and staged to sell products to “kids”. It is irresponsible to sell the idea that 3/4 helmets or jean jackets on the street as safe or acceptable, but in reality I see far more assholes on sportbikes in tank tops & shorts than I do beardos wearing plastic hats & aviator goggles.

    I do have to say that I love this site. This shit cracks me up every time. I just felt like putting in my two cents. I might be completely wrong, but I just see this whole thing as a big marketing ploy. No more real than a sitcom family, or the kids in a back to school ad. These nomadic packs of 30-40 something’s you see featured in all of this hilarious garbage are a fantasy. Sure there are imitators, but they’re not living the life that’s being sold to them.. more like a pitiful, low rent imitation.

    Keep up the good work! I think you’ve got at least a couple more years before everyone bags the whole vintage bike cosplay scene for reclaimed bathtub sailing.

    • Nice comment, some good points there. It is also true that in the photos and videos there are pouting bearded gangs riding to cafe’s and hi five’ing each other wearing million pound outfits, but yea after that video’s over everyone goes home and does the dishes, takes a shit and tells there friends about the stupid video they were just in.

    • You see, you’re all fucking deluded. No one’s selling anything!!!!! Most of the bike people customise themselves, none of the events cost anything (or very little to cover costs) to attend. The multi national motorcycle corporations sell the new bikes for ridiculous prices, and the fucking soppy pretend to be racer lifestyles complete with £1000 leathers, and you’re pressurised into buying a new one every year. This scene is about recycling the old and having a laugh with it. There is no “industry” selling “anything’. Just a bunch of people enjoying themselves on motorbikes, and one people passing judgement are you sorry twats.

      • Yeah, okay, “no one’s selling anything.” Now that I know they’re giving those Rubys away, I’ll take two. Of course, I will only use them as bookends, ’cause I wouldn’t ride in an open face.

        Keep laughing and recycling, pud. Just don’t get pissy while we laugh too.

        • Yeah, we seem to have touched a nerve with this guy, LOL! He’s obviously one of the true believers, not just “having a laugh.” I’d say he’s upset we don’t recognize how authentic he is.

      • Oh, we’re enjoying your scene and having a laugh, alright.

        Those tool rolls and tins of palmaid (sic) your e-huckster bros sell are the finest and most authentic display of greed I’ve ever seen.

  10. It’s the irreversible “modification” of the dwindling stock of secondhand classics I find most upsetting.

    I blame the internet.

    • Idiot. Most people customising are using cheap unloved bikes. An SR 250 or a CRX ain’t a classic and won’t ever be.

  11. “Costume” means custom in French. Not that it matters, but if you’re gonna rip on it at least know that the companies names are in French.

  12. “Costume” means custom in French huh…? Am I the only one who appreciates the delightful irony in that little factoid? BTW If you can buy it off the shelf, and several of your beardo friends have the identical item, it’s not really custom now is it?

    • Look, I think Ruby helmets are crazy expensive, but I have to point out that in this case “Costume” really does mean “custom” – Ruby has a custom program where you can specify everything from the graphics and colours right down to the liner, trim and press studs. So, it really is custom, expensive and exclusive as it is.

    • Fucking hell! have you seen the price of their leather jackets? €3800!!!!

      ‘Streamlined for perfect air penetration and with a dynamic allure’

      Does that mean that they are no good in a cold breeze and look better than they actually perform?

      Nice lining though… Which will make you look very dynamic when you are lying on the parisienne cobbles after your Firestones lose all grip!

  13. My grandad used to hate all the speed freaks as he called them. They didn’t understand what it was all about, these youngsters on their Japanese super bikes. Funny how history repeats but upside down!

  14. ha ha..you know how us “hipsters” like irony right? well, i just saw that aerostitch want to advertise on your site and gave you some free gear. ps: check out my beard it will really piss you off.

    • Whoa man you just blew my mind, maybe we’re not so different, maybe were the same. Wow I have to rethink everything now.

  15. What is wrong with you guys? Seriously. Everybody dresses up when he goes out for a ride. And these bikers dress up pretty neat. And why picking on old men out of the sudden? It’s great that elderly people ride bikes. Good for them. And what’s wrong with a M9 Leica? Love the camera, but don’t have the money. This guys document there trip, see bikes as culture. Meanwhile they take awesome pics. Saw that hot girl? And not even to mention there bikes. Live and let ride. Wankers talk about bikes. Bikers ride them.

  16. Wow…have I Missed out somewhere???Been riding since 1965,yet NEVER had
    that overwhelming urge of having to use a camera like I would be in a fucking two
    wheeled freak show.These parties are NOT Real motorcyclists,sadly they are just
    “passing through”…In time they lose sense of the fad and move on,perhaps to go
    sailing restored bathtubs as stated in an earlierpost(dug that one real good).My
    only fervent hope is that these fuckwit hipster posers move on sooner than later.
    That way my colleagues and I can progress down the road at speed without these clowns getting in our way,as they have done in the past(closing idiots in the
    left lane travelling WAY below the speed limit-as in crawling when one should be
    fast enough to pass….)

    • you must throw much creepy parties to make said observation,yes,boss?maybe your elders make you
      they did at same party,yes?…creepy as is for judges.

  17. Found this while looking at bikes on google images and I have to say this..

    While they may or may not be douching up a storm, whoever created this spent their (what they should consider to be valuable) time creating a website to hate on people who, frankly, they should just not give a fuck about. Let people be idiots and posers, and let the world scoff at their instagrams. In the meantime, good god.. stop bitching and go ride whatever your equally stuck-up ass deems worthy to plop on. Or go get laid. Or call your mom. Or milk a cow. Or find out what it feels like to lick a battery. Whatever. Just stop queefing on the internet to make yourself feel like a “true biker”.

    • queef. Classy.

      I get your point, Jeff. But you have to admit, there is some serious ass hattery going on with the hipster bike crowd. Lot of unskilled riders out there trying to “look the look”. They would be better served taking riding courses, practicing their riding and spending less time trying to look the part and just be the part. Cool comes with skill and just being on a bike. No need to fake it.

      Much like the HD fad of the 90s and 2000s, the poser factor for cafe/scrambler, etc. is high. Riding has a long history wicked speed painful learning curves, and highly demanding skill levels. The rewards for those of us dedicated to the sport are known to, well, those of us who stick to it.

      New bikes make it easier for more people to get into it, but the risks are still there. Time will tell if the popularity continues or not, but if nothing else, the market will be flooded with cheap retro bikes in another 5-10 years. So much the better for those of us who have decades of riding under our belts…

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