Reader Questions

For Readers Questions: I decided that having an oil temp gage for a dip stick would be cool (ah-hum). I found one at the dollar store that was pretty easy to adapt to where the old dip stick went. My question is: the oil seems to run about mid-way between roast beef and turkey – is this normal?

Thanks ………… George

Thanks for the question, George. I can tell by your running temperature that you’re a sophisticated owner who only uses artisanal oils with no inorganic chemical additives. Any consistent running temp over turkey indicates cheap, mass produced oil with unnatural chemicals devoid of soul and emotion. Mass produced synthetic oils used by non soulful riders will let your bike run at the internal temps of a hot pocket.

Be sure that when you add the necessary .5 oz of beard oil supplement to the engine oil, you check the label to see that it is 100% natural and locally procured. This combination ensures lower engine running temperatures and you should be running right around beef wellington.
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6 thoughts on “Reader Questions

  1. Here is the actual, real product description for the $28 per 1 oz. bottle beard oil. I kid you not. This is funnier than anything I might make up: “The woodsy, earthy scent of this beard oil brings together the solitary notes of nature and craftsmanship. The smell of freshly chopped forest woods move into a dusty carpenter’s workshop, leaving behind the deep leathered richness of a cobbler’s apron. Its very hardy, masculine fragrance works well with the rugged scruff left behind after a lazy summer’s week of no shaving to the full-grown winter’s beard.” Artisan fetishism run amok….

    • I thought the term “Beard Oil” was a silly joke – ’til that link was hit. I don’t know which is worse: Trying not to gag while reading that, or knowing that someone wrote that with no gag reflex at all. Perhaps there’s an explanation I don’t want to know.

      Then I read the rest of the website – looks like everything one needs to prep a man poodle (Moodle?) for a show.

      For the first time in my life, I want to see the military draft reinstated.

    • LOL is this real life?

      My god I thought you were joking dude.. Just… Well… Wow.

      It’s like Abercrombie and Fitch for Hipsters. They try so hard to be different but they buy the same overexpensive outdoorsey crap. lmfao wow.

  2. Actually, after I asked this question I got a tip from an Enfield Bullet-riding friend. When he was in India he found that lubrication can be greatly enhanced by “Holy Corn Oil” additive. It is actually oil from the corns of holy men. What makes it work though is having one of those little “karma” bells hanging off your handlebar, the sound of which resonates through the sump and activates the (HCO) special ingredient – completely eliminating the need for oil changes!

    I think that’s what he said anyway. We had just burned a huge fatty so I may have gotten some of the details wrong.


  3. OMF jesus nailed to a tree, I thought that beard oil thing was a f@cking joke. That description surely was written by a comic genious, yes? Tongue in cheak for sure….. Nope :( Me personally, I want my beard stinking of @ss from eating cornholes all day 😛

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