Pretense & Bullshit

“Thought you guys might appreciate this – the idea popped into my head while watching one of the videos you posted: http://smldg.com/hipster_bike_shop/ It’s a helpful tool I put together for anyone looking to start a new coffee/clothing/hair product shop. Every time you reload the page it generates a new, authentic and completely original moto-themed brand..” – evan@smalldog-media.com

Are you about to open a new motorcycle/coffee/hair product store?  Do you have a business loan co-signed by your parents?  Are you looking for warehouse space in a trendy part of town?  Well here is the first thing you should do, come up with a trendy 2 part name and logo.  Join the likes of Iron & Air, Iron & Resin, Seaweed & Gravel.

One of our awesome readers developed this tool for you, just go there and hit refresh till you  get one you like.

DZZBa3Q

25 thoughts on “Pretense & Bullshit

  1. Very nice piece of code, with a great collection of illustrations and clip art. A “View Source” reveals much of the magic. Fonts are: “Weston”, “Silverfake”, “Moonshiner”, “Cylburn”, “Haymaker”, “Carton”, “Duke”. Very cool.

    • Thanks! The real key though is the “Vintage Motorcycle Club” font which contains all the clip art and makes it easy to randomize.

  2. This thing is awesome, just in case all these weren’t enough:

    Iron & Air
    Iron & Resin
    Seaweed & Gravel
    Scotch & Iron
    Cast & Salvage
    Piston & Chain
    Oil & Blood
    Oil& Ink
    Parts & Labor
    Asphalt & Rubber
    Wheels & Waves
    Lipstick & Wrenches: Probably the stupidest name I’ve heard so far

    All lame non-motorcycle-clothing-bullshit, except for Asphalt & rubber they’re legit shit with shitty name.

    I might start a blog featuring the worst bike builds/builders, I’ll name it Builtwrong or Lamemachine, I don’t know…

    • Yeah? How about:

      Tire & Rim
      Hand & Grip
      Brake & Pad
      Tom & Jerry
      Head & Shoulders
      Mumford & Sons
      Turd & Asshole
      Brats & Dicks

  3. Once again, brilliant satire is beaten to the punch by pathetic reality: Piston and Chain is a real rich guy’s motorcycle clubhouse in San Francisco (www.pistonandchain.com/‎) and Street and Steel is Cycle Gear’s el cheapo in-house brand of douchey cruiser

  4. Totally Brilliant Satire Indeed….hopefully the pathetic reality will do the”rollover”
    and die off-fast or slow,just die off….

  5. I thought that seaweed and gravel one was a joke at the start, hahaha. Did anyone listen to their podcasts? Don’t.

    I liked the ones that came up with the same thing as the seemed the most ridiculous.

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