Epic Alligator

This is getting ridiculous.  We understand needing booming narration and mood lighting if you’re trying to convince people to pay you $30k to build a shitty cafe racer out of a CX500.  The shallow depth of field and promise of grandiose results helps part fools from their money.  When you’re selling manhood to rich idiots it’s almost understandable.

However now this style of video has reached across to the realm of everyday products like clothes.  Here we have a video for Lacoste.  Christian Bale reads Jack Kerouac with a Johnny Cash soundtrack to promote the union of man, machine and nature; the intimate expression of one’s emotion and spirit; the palpable détente between one’s own hands and the fruit of that hand’s labor sell pants.

On their next marketing project, Charmin will feature in intermittently focused and dimly lit vintage-look stalls with wistful sentiments narrated about how wiping our asses unites us all as human beings.

 

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Feel good friday RC30

We haven’t posted a Feel Good Friday vid in a while, so this week we have a real treat. Something to really wash the taste of bullshit out.

Instead of watching Sven the bearded wonder fuck around in a moody garage and “build” a motorcycle, let’s watch professionals do it.  Dudes with PhDs in motorcycles. Instead of some junk heap CB, let’s watch a truly cool motorcycle get put together.  In my opinion the RC30 is probably one of the coolest/prettiest motorcycles of the last 25 years.

Enjoy.

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http://www.endclothing.co.uk/barbour-steve-mcqueen-macgrain-jacket.html

Here is a replica of Steve McQueen’s six days jacket made by Barbour, it comes with authentic mud splatter.  Don’t worry, it’s rubberized mud splatter so it won’t fall off when you sit in your Aeron chair to make the final edit on your video.

This jacket represents quite a misunderstanding of the legacy of Steve McQueen.   Maybe they watched On Any Sunday with the volume down so they could luxuriate in its vintage instagram-filtered imagery, missing the point that Steve McQueen was a rich and famous man who went out and got real mud on him while racing under a fake name to avoid attention.  The movie wasn’t even about him, he financed it and was just there to have fun and help draw attention to the stories of the real racers and the amazing skills of his buddy Malcolm Smith.

You have to envision this jacket out in the world.

“Don’t sit there, you’ll get mud on my furniture you cunt”

“That’s where you’re wrong, this is carefully applied synthetic dirt that cost me 500 pounds sterling”

The haunted look in his eyes says it all. Just learned it’s Steve’s 84th birthday today, happy bday Steve. 


 

This post was written by special guest, Echo all the way from Oireland – Harvard

Pretense & Bullshit

“Thought you guys might appreciate this – the idea popped into my head while watching one of the videos you posted: http://smldg.com/hipster_bike_shop/ It’s a helpful tool I put together for anyone looking to start a new coffee/clothing/hair product shop. Every time you reload the page it generates a new, authentic and completely original moto-themed brand..” – evan@smalldog-media.com

Are you about to open a new motorcycle/coffee/hair product store?  Do you have a business loan co-signed by your parents?  Are you looking for warehouse space in a trendy part of town?  Well here is the first thing you should do, come up with a trendy 2 part name and logo.  Join the likes of Iron & Air, Iron & Resin, Seaweed & Gravel.

One of our awesome readers developed this tool for you, just go there and hit refresh till you  get one you like.

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Rage trippers

Readers have submitted videos from these guys before (link) but we gave them a pass, because despite their stupid helmets they had not ruined the bikes they were riding. So I was sort of expecting the same when this video came our way. Boy, was I wrong.

This starts out with the same dumb helmets and admittedly cool bikes. Then, the 230 Benz comes into view and it goes off the rails, fast. I was already kind of annoyed/jealous that these douches had a bevel drive Ducati so the car only incensed me more. Then I saw the guy with the fucking mustache and the Polaroid camera, the music began to sting my ears. By the time they pulled up to the picnic table I could feel the veins in my neck throbbing. The rage began to consume me.

My blood boils at the sight of that carefully cluttered table, my skin has entirely slid off my face and I can feel the flames jetting from my nose and ear holes. Imagine a bespoke leather gloved fist smashing into an immaculately waxed mustache over and over for all eternity, that’s my dream, that’s my nightmare. When they start juggling peaches, I have already become death, destroyer of worlds.

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Collective douche chills

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This needs to be seen, we posted this way back when we were on tumblr but these dudes disabled video embedding and spoiled our fun. So we’ll just post a link to it, https://vimeo.com/55420992

Listen as Ira Glass on estrogen therapy recounts the adventure of social media consultants in the wild. Marvel at the manly feats and artisan food, watch their indomitable spirits spur them on, forging evermore towards their cheese and wine at the next pre-constructed campsite.

Stand in awe of their inflated sense of accomplishment at completing even the most menial of tasks.

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