Show us ze papers

Leave it to the Germans to distill hipster videos down to their very essence and then execute one with Teutonic precision and proficiency.

We couldn’t help but imagine Germans in lab coats arguing over how many times the word soul must be used or what is the appropriate length of beard.

“nein! ze flussdiagramm clearly states there must be DUST CLOUDS in ze drag race”

Repost: Biarrich

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Here is another old post, we’re gonna repost.

Here is yet another commercial for some jeans, this time a bunch of funemployed mechanics take a ride from London to Biarritz, a beach resort in the south of France.

Why is it when one of these groups of perfectly coiffed chin hair enthusiasts get together to shoot a video, one of them inevitably has to turn some wrenches? It’s usually on the side of the road and always in range of a fancy camera. Do these denim engineers not check this shit before they leave home? Has no one figured out how to sell Loctite to hipsters?

Hey Loctite marketing dept, this is how you sell to these beardos,

1. Change your name to “Old Pappy’s Hold Em Serum” in a swooshy font

2. Make your product available in pomade tins

3. Charge $50 for it

4. Make it available in coffee shops.

Boom! We’ll be expecting our check in the mail.

 

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Bandanna is a totally viable replacement for a front fender you guys.

Other highlights:

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Feel Good Friday

I know we’re not posting much these days, but it’s summer time and we’re all busy riding. So here is another FGF video to cheer you jerks up.

The original On Any Sunday is a good movie but I think it’s also responsible for a lot of the retro hipster malarkey we see. Stupid people watch that movie, completely miss the point and decide to become 70’s bike reenactors in dumb costumes.  That having been said I’m kind of excited about the new version being made by Bruce Brown’s son. Hopefully this will inform some of these dopes about how cool modern motorcycling is. Enjoy.

Another Milestone

The website while amusing in places does smack a bit of a intolerant dictatorial nazi venting his spleen over those he/they hold in derision. In a different time you would find his like guarding unfortunates in concentration camps or burning books!
I myself find the current trend of stripping down old and sometimes tatty small to medium capacity bikes and converting them into often good looking but very definitely leisure orientated bikes, in the style of cafe racers or other similar stylised bikes from the past very refreshing.

Well we’ve officially arrived, someone on the internet compared us to Nazis. Break out the Champagne boys, we’re going straight to the top.

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Feel Good Friday

We get a lot of mail about how we shouldn’t make fun of hipsters because motorcycling needs more young people to be involved.

So this week’s FGF video is a shot in the arm, take heart not all the kids are spending their time shopping for “heritage boots” or selvedge denim trying to look the part.  New generation of actual riders is out there, you might not see them as much but they’re there. Oh you might want to turn down the music.

Ride safe.

 

 

Motorcycle Jorts

Have you ever wanted a $600 denim vest but just couldn’t afford it? Well today is your lucky day, these geniuses have totally figured out cut out the middle man and bring you their product direct and at the low low wholesale price of $300. As long as people pay them $40,000 for the trouble first. Don’t delay, operators are standing by, orders placed in the next 20 minutes get a free voucher for chucklefuck’s tattoo hut.

Denim vest: $300 Front brakes: $0

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At first we weren’t sure if these dudes qualified as hipsters because they actually looked like grown ups, albeit very stupid looking grown ups but still old enough to know better. Then the voice over started.

“The most relevant outsider art associated with vintage choppers that we can think of, is the denim vest. Over time it collects a man’s sweat, his filth, his blood and eventually his soul”

Well that pretty much settled that debate.  Then I went to their website, I just sat on the front page and looked at the pictures and quotes. My face lit up.

quote 3First they’re gonna pay us $40,000 so we can sell them $300 denim vests bahahahahahahah

 

quote 2Kevin Bacon explains to models why vintage dick is the best dick.

 

quote1Beard fires are a real danger bro

 

 

 

 

 

Creativity for sale

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http://www.ebay.com.au/itm/171320512615

RE: Creative Reality

Remember the babbling  you had to sit through while this guy described to you what a journey it was to create a shittier version of and already shitty motorcycle?

Welp now you have the chance of owning the end result of that journey. You see riding motorcycles is not the goal for these people, public masturbation over their own egos is, so now that he’s finished “creating” the bike and starred in a video, time for it to go.