Ripoff

“Hey man, we’re just a company that’s all about freedom ©, motorcycles, surfing and having a good time with our pals and all the things that go along with that. ”

Here is a list of those things:

$390 sweatshirts http://shop.au.deuscustoms.com/collections/mens-jackets/products/rc-deus-jacket

$190 toolroll http://shop.au.deuscustoms.com/collections/accessories/products/makr-x-deus-tool-roll

$200 riding goggles http://shop.au.deuscustoms.com/collections/riding/products/aviator-4602-goggles-chrblk

$200 jeans http://shop.au.deuscustoms.com/collections/mens-pants/products/darry-rin

$220 hoodie http://shop.au.deuscustoms.com/collections/mens-hoodies/products/rc-deus-hoodie

(note we don’t have a problem with Deus bikes, because the guy who builds them “Woolie” is actually talented, but those prices are fucking ridiculous)

Reader Questions

“hey bros, i just sharted all over my kickass aeron ass bucket from reading and laughing at your tumblr. How do i get the stinky not to drip on my ankles through the fine mesh?”

 

Thanks, momentum is your friend, as long as you’re moving forward faster than the shit is dripping downwards you’re safe. Also, nice humblebrag about chair.

Art Choppers

We’ve been seeing a lot videos with choppers and shit painted in metal flake that remind us of the hipster strain. I don’t know but it looks like to me that these shitbirds copied the beards and tattooed style of chopper assholes perfectly. However instead of dealing meth and beating their wives they’ve taken the whole thing upscale, now it’s all art gallery openings and organic food.

Either way fuck this shit. Fuck art galleries. Fuck art.

Buy our jeans please

This is some pro level lifestyle marketing shit right here, it would be hard to guess that this is just a commercial for some clothing brand. Despite the motorcycles, surfboards and desperate grab for authenticity you can smell the bullshit. Everyone in this video is decked out head to toe in their brand merchandise. They just want to sell you overpriced jeans and t-shirts.

This is no different than some dumb Wrangler jeans commercial with cowboys, pick-up trucks and some horrible country song. Just a different target demographic.

Take look at their shop if you want to know what this company actually does. http://shop.au.deuscustoms.com/ for a good laugh go look at the “riding” section.

Ahahahah I just noticed the Corona sponsorship at the end of the video. God damn, go fuck yourselves.

Invitations

“Very cleaver. If your ever out in Oregon make sure you stop by and meet us all. We have a new video, I’m sure you’ll like it. What’s your name by the way so I can credit you for all your hard work?”

 

I am rather a sharp Cleaver as it were. Who is we? They call me Harvard J Nasty, Esq.

Cafe Pacers

Let’s set the record straight: the whole cafe racer phenomenon was a very localized thing in the late 50’s early 60’s England, and all the bikes were leaky-ass British machines from the same era. Please, please, stop ruining 70’s Japanese UJMs.

These people have missed any sort of historical accuracy mark they might have aimed for.  But if on the other hand it’s really all about riding fast bikes hard as they all claim to be doing, they’re still missing the mark. I’ve owned both a Honda CB400 and CB750, and they should be appreciated for what they are, the basis for all modern 4-cylinder bikes. But while they are many things, they are by no means fast.

For all the talk of performance and “ton-up” we see in these videos we have yet to find a video in which they are actually ridden hard at all.  Instead all we see is a bunch of posturing, while trying to look old timey, and while cramming as much fashion-nonsense product placement in as possible.

Couch Conquistador

This video isn’t really moto related but it’s really a doozy, the typical hipster fetishizing of authenticity without actually understanding it.

Here we have  a thoughtful and sensitive video essay on the historic triumph of white culture: the ability to get non white people to perform manual labor and sell the products of that labor at prices significantly above cost. While proclaiming nationalism and drinking really fancy coffee.

Oh you can buy his fancy couch for $5,000