Let’s play “guess what they’re trying to sell me”

In this video we see a troupe of riders take a grueling trip hundreds of feet down the road before the tightness of their jeans force them to stop, rest, and contemplate the profundity of their beards.  After a quick nap and a pack of smokes they’re ready for the return leg.  This is very effective advertising for their, uh,

Well here is a list of things we know they aren’t selling:

  • Gloves
  • Men’s jeans
  • Beard trimmers
  • Nicotine patches
  • Any type of effective motorcycle riding gear


29 thoughts on “Let’s play “guess what they’re trying to sell me”

    • I took me some time but I got this … its a sad but nessary journey
      A son ( beard guy ) and his sister she too good looking to be this guys girlfriend and the other brother ( mustach guy but he is not the leader) are all taking there father to old folks home where he is to live out the rest of his years in a staffed comfortable facility … it’s sad point in life we all must go through but if you notice near the end you see some smiles they know they doing the right thing … it’s an advertisement for a seniors home … and from I can tell its a pretty darn good… Where they fucked up …no name or number to call for rate plans and such

  1. My quick and probably totally inaccurate drunken calculation reveals the cast’s clothing cost about 5 times more than their shitty bikes… that is if you remove the new-vintage Triumph that only took that company 40 years to figure out how to build without “dodgy” British electronics and chronic oil leaks before they could sell them to any asshat with a shitty 600+ credit rating and a need for True Authenticity.

    That being said it was nice of Captain Beard and his hot girlfriend to meet up with Cheech and his homeless friend for a ride.

  2. Oh man, I opened their store page (which autoplays the same video) in the background before I started the video. It took me 3 minutes to realize the audio wasnt supposed to be some sort of weird out of sync duet.

  3. WTF does “authenticity” mean in the ELMC website statement: “All of the materials and components in this collection are produced to the highest degree of quality and authenticity possible.” What, like it’s “authentically” a flannel shirt? Sears has “authentic” flannels too, way cheaper. Let’s face it, we motorcyclists have always had our share of low IQ blowhards — it’s just that these ones have cameras and blogs and 300% mark ups on clothing made in Asia. “The fabric garments, such as Ts and Sweats are all made in Japan – that being the best place on earth to get true vintage-quality products of this genre produced.”

    • I lasted about 30 seconds, normally these type of videos are at least shot and cut with some measure of skill and that’s why I don’t hate most of them. But this one not so much.

  4. Sweet mary mother of god…I was waiting and hoping his beard would flip up, cover his face and he would ride off the road and take the skin off his palms. I had one of those jackets in the late 70’s and it was no good then let alone being redone ‘authentically now’. Cringe worthy indeed..

  5. What, I’m trying to find the song on iTunes so I can stream it wifi to my hand-crafted 6L6GC tube amp that makes me FEEL the shitty compression in my soul.

  6. @ 0:40 girl’s heiny is the redeeming feature of this video. Liked the way she looked later on as well. But the ratty bikes and the “too cool for you” douche-bag guys are hilarious. Just what I want to put on my head, a 30-year old helmet that looks like it rolled down the driveway a few times. Nice cinematography, but does this really sell product? Girl = thumbs up. Beard dudes = thumbs down.

  7. Sadly, I had to talk some friends out of doing a video like this for a farm I am starting up.
    Can you imagine?!
    All this but with some watermelons in a sidecar, maybe a pig with goggles.
    The elusive “organic” vegetable and pastured animal, so mysterious and/or quirky and fun.

    In all fairness, they were just trying to help.

    • hahah I kinda want to see that, doing burn outs in the dirt, wearing overalls, it’s perfect hipster vid.

  8. Pingback: Best of 2014 | Bullshit Hipster Bike Videos

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