Hells Assholes


I’ve never understood the whole chopper/bobber thing because they’re motorcycles that are probably zero fun to ride if you’re interested in anything other than cruising on highways and pulling dumb faces to scare minivan drivers. The obsession with pretending you’re some ’60s biker is really weird. I know it’s just costumes and everyone has to go back to their social media jobs on Monday, but still. This isn’t the ’60s, the girl at Starbucks has tattoos. Give it a rest.

The Hells Angels and other biker gangs were assholes (link). They sold drugs, beat women and stabbed kids. Stop treating them like they were anything other than typical scumbags, you idiots.

Video of HST and retarded Hells Angels

33 thoughts on “Hells Assholes

  1. the classic outlaw biker culture was a footnote in our nation’s history. They are comparable to the outlaws of the old west in that their time passed when our society began to hold them accountable for their deeds.
    It seems only logical that we would see a reemergence of that mentality on the internet. Any little punk can make up a profile and use a proxy server to post all his fantasies of being the lawless outlaw, without being held accountable for their actions. All they have to do is talk tough, find a junk ratted out bike, talk tough some more, but a vest, talk tough even more, repeat phrases like “That’s what bikers do” , spend even more time talking tough, and they too can claim the dubious title of being a biker for their very own.

    The yuppies of the 80s made it cool to be a biker. They bought harleys and leathers and a weekend image. The kids with their cos-play are really no different. They cannot afford a nice bike so they pick up junk and talk a use phrases like “Built not bought”. That all sounds great. I have nothing but respect for a genuine craftsman. Jesse James is the perfect example. I do not want one of his bikes, but I have due respect for his skill. I even envy him some of the tools he has. But you look at some of the bikes the wannabe bikers are riding and it is old junk customized with a hacksaw and a rattle can of paint.

  2. This is probably about the worst one yet. Every fucking biker cliché possible is there. That took zero imagination to write and direct.
    Also WTF is up with the guy picking up the girl and then wiping blood off his hands? Now its cool to kill female hitch hikers? Fucking retards.

  3. I didn’t see too much hipster shit in the max schaff vid, just an homage to the bikeplextoition films of the 60’s/70’s unless there is a subliminal message trying to make me buy $1000 jeans and dapper Dan hair and beard pomade at 100 bucks a tin. I don’t want to be an outlaw but after seeing this, but it did put a smile on my face.

      • I didn’t bother to see the second film, seen it all before, but as I remember it was a film of the times. What is your point? If it is about SOA look-a-likeys post a video of them.

  4. I was laughing my way through it…CA has a mandatory helmet law, and Oakland is a shithole where the cops sit and masturbate to fantasies of busting “bikers”. The riding scenes were just as staged as any hipster video previously posted.

  5. You might have to start another website: “Bullshit Lowlife Fantasy Videos”. Lowlife biker is the new ‘gangsta’. Young Bourgeoise adults now fantasise about being lowlife bikers, just as they did about being black gangsters a decade ago. Seems a certain percentage of middle- class kids will always be uncomfortable with their status as respectable citizens.

  6. Man this was made 3, four years ago! this “genre,” whatever, has definitely run it’s course, check the videos on Affliction’s website, roid raging tapout swordfighting assholes are ripping it off now.

    I DO get sucked into playing dress up a little, but I don’t plaster my shit all over the net and expect wet pussy and holy bro chopper glory to come from it. If anything, spending time in the garage gets a little lonely, but it’s how I unwind.

    Not to mention I’ve got a buddy that (he probably wouldn’t disagree) would be scum by everyone’s definition, we split a six pack every weekend; he rambles on about girls that jacked him off running down the highway while he was a hangout with Outlaws MC. who could pass up that level of bullshitting.

  7. That was a great post NHnasty! Would you mind telling what you wrote to a Hells Angels member in real life, filming the interaction that follows, then posting on your site? Thanks for keeping biking safe, keep up the good work!

  8. Also, Max Schaaf is a master painter, fabricator, mechanic, and has been a well paid pro skateboarder for longer than you’ve been alive. What have you done with your life besides make a faggy blog for you and your crotch rocket buddies to circle jerk over?

  9. If just one person who visits this site decides to save their cash instead of buying beard wax and 400 dollar calico man bag I`d say job done. Hopefully they don`t go on to take a perfectly good motorcycle and ruin it in some vain attempt to impress, and learn to ride instead. Screw this marketing bullshit.

  10. You guys take it too seriously. Max is a great bike builder and pro skater who’s been riding both since he was a kid. This is a throwback to all those cheesey biker movies. Yeah, some dork will take it to heart but whateva. Two wheels good

  11. It’s weird, I fantasised about being an Angel when I was a child growing up in the middle class stockbroker belt in England. My cousin became an outlaw biker then died as a result , drugs OD. As a punk teenage biker I later fantasised about being in Mad Max whilst riding my shitty two strokes on and off the road to a sound track by the Anti Nowhere League. So I understand this phenomena .Then I got older and all that stopped for the main part as soon as I realised that looking threatening and mean makes you look threatened and scared but I still do it a bit.

    I chop bikes up with grinders , fuck them up with hacksaws and shite paint jobs and thrash the fuck out them round fields and on the roads still and I still enjoy that. I don’t hold the poxy things in reverence just because they are motorcycles, who cares? I won’t waste too much money on the things.

    ‘Fucking up a perfectly good bike’ is a criticism used too often. Fuck they’re only motorcycles, ride ’em and do what you like with them but for heaven’s sakes don’t think there’s anything cool or sacred about it.

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    • ha, ok, you know me so well. I haven’t spent most of my life building panheads and shovel chops both rigid and swing arm…

      they are a blast to ride if you’re not a pussy like yourself

  13. ya this vid is pretty stupid but i have some respect for the chopper stuff,like Indian Larry,he actually built bikes,the only thing he got from a factory would be engine and tires,and i think that’s awesome cuz his bikes we’re also rideable,got shot in the head,married some crazy ass circus stripper,y’know he was a cool guy. i don’t see nothing wrong with the chopper thing of building bikes,what gets to me is when they don’t build bikes,or don’t even know how to properly ride a bike,but put a lot of effort into LOOKING like they do all that… and only on the weekends,like,wtf,how do they live like this? don’t they find it sad that they put on costumes on the weekends? shit..

  14. this post is three years old but I test rode my friend’s home-built dt360 chopper and discovered that scaring waspy boomers is extremely underrated

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