Greasy Hand Pretenders


They have rediscovered the virtues of “savoir-faire”, the pleasure of building something tangible by seizing control of a method of production fit for their level and, above all, the satisfaction of understanding what they are doing.” – their kickstarter (seriously read it, it’s hilarious)

Connoisseurs of vintage facial hair using Marxist language to talk about their rich guy hobby.  Their next task in bringing about their worker’s paradise will surely be seizing the means of production at whatever studio makes the vintage film effects for Final Cut Pro.

This homage to working with your hands is funded by indie homebrew companies such as BMW, Motul, and the Venture Capitalist who owns Belstaff, but they need your help to finish.

Despite all the craftsmen talk, no one in this video produces anything  but unrideable art motorcycles, or vintage bullshit to be used in commercials for clothing lines.*

30 years from now will the idiots of the future be attempting to capture the working class chic of the early 2000’s? Will there be young graphic artists wearing hi-viz construction vests trying to install D&D cans on Gixxer 600s?



* we debated whether RSD belongs in this group or not.


29 thoughts on “Greasy Hand Pretenders

  1. This is disappointing. I admit I do like Shinya’s work. RSD is a business-man now, and as you said this is business… why question whether he belongs? I like seeing Bonneville and flat-tracking.. but the rest? Meh. Even the mis-attributed quote in the opening frame. Odd that they mention in their kickstarter that not much has been made since Easy Rider or On Any Sunday…. considering Why We Ride was out last year. [which I liked] “Sensei”, “priesthood”, “band of brothers”.. puke. The good news? “This project will only be funded if at least $100,000 is pledged by Wed, Mar 19 2014 4:59 AM CST. ” They are at $23k.

  2. “generalized devaluation of manual labour create[s] the image of a man in his garage as a prisoner of his own intellectual and financial misery” — Seriously? DIY-ism is as trendy and prestigious as it gets these days. The motorcycle mechanic, be he amateur or professional, will rarely if ever lack beer, pizza, friends, or dates, even if he does have to shoplift his moustache wax from time to time.

  3. “Torque” was so stupid it was painful. Easy Rider was, in fact, about motorcycles, and has the best explanation of “freedom” from a young Jack Nicholson ever. Long Way Round / Down, Faster, Mondo Sahara are all decent flicks. So I’m not buying that there have been no good moto flicks since the 70’s, nor that an antiquated filming method is an intelligent choice. But Torque is seriously horrible.

  4. The real problem with this video isn’t the ideology. The negative things are: 1) too many dorky, poorly built bikes; and 2) the glorification of stupid hipsters doing stupid stuff, such as riding without a helmet, and riding down the road while standing on the seat. The instant I see that BS I know this was conceived by urban media types to try to make stupid, ignorant riders somehow look cool or important.

    As for RSD — he has become part of the problem rather than a positive force in the industry. He has produced too many foolishly-styled bikes, with bad ergonomics, and questionable engineering work-arounds (done to achieve a “look” he wants). Too much BS and not enough design integrity. He’s sold his soul. And there’s the “Emperor’s New Clothes” factor. Nobody in the industry has the guts to say the truth — to wit, Roland Sands really isn’t that gifted of a designer. He is over-rated, and has produced enough ugly customs to put into question his overall aesthetic vision and his basic competence.

  5. Oh I have to add — what film-maker in his/her right mind would start the film with that cloying and annoying “speeding motorcycle” song. Awful. Just stupendously awful. Is this supposed to be ironic, or clever? It’s just so irritating and lame — although it does provide an auditory warning of the lameness about to unfold….

    Dorky, poorly built bikes ridden by stupid hipsters: 00:26-00:29

  6. I will be donating them 1 penny.. Wait.

    No I won’t.

    Keep up the good work, sir! My friends and I are geting a kick outta this site

  7. I will say this about Roland. In addition to being a terribly nice guy in person, he is not stupid. His customers, eh not so much. But stupid pays the bills. He has to sell stupid “cafe” parts to nightster owners so that he can fund spectacular passion projects like the super singles race bike kit bike program (which was a spectacular failure because people can’t handle that much awesome). Does he contribute to the garbage, a little but he is following where the money goes, you can’t blame a hockey player for wanting to be where the puck is, but he redeems himself too by trying things that the people who are contributing to the art bike mess don’t do.

  8. Oh and you guys know torque was a parody right? At least it was supposed to be of the fast and furious type movies. The investors disagreed with it being a parody and recut it to look like less of one, but some of the things still show through. If you watch it again knowing it was supposed to be funny it becomes a fantastic inside joke. Seriously I watch it a couple times a year and laugh my ass off.

        • Couple of things to look for and laugh at:
          The “speed sounds” when he is taking off his gloves and helmet.

          The F&F style internal nitrous burst that exits through the riders ponytail.

          The giant ass key for the humvee. Seriously there is a scene with the camera looking from the ignition on the dash as the FBI agent puts the key in. Not only is it a 1980’s style car/house key but it is bigger than his fist by a lot.

          Sunglasses magically appear on peoples faces. Usually after something cool happens or is about to happen. This was supposed to be more prominent but it was cut to look like continuity errors.

  9. Wow … both the video and the kickstarter pitch are really annoying. If there’s any common sense left in this world, they won’t get their 100K

  10. Hi, I’ve stumbled upon your site, and I have to say its pretty funny. Most of the time you are spot on calling out some of these videos and what they are trying to do or pretending to do.

    But I get the feeling that there is growing sense of hostility or real dislike towards these hipsters, as opposed to comedic mockery, which I think is what you began with.

    Now, I am in my early 50s and have gone through my share of phases of both cars and bikes. I now ride a harley road king and have ridden crotch rockets, cafes, and a few adventure bikes. Having experienced both car and bike worlds in their different sub-genres, I find it interesting to see that there is never a lack of reason to hate or mock the “others” and there is always a sense that the “others” are somehow inferior to your group.

    Everyone knows, in the car world muscle car guys hate the ricers, german car guys don’t like japanese car guys or american car guys, tuners don’t like the DUB guys…etc…vice versa… and many number of variations between subcultures (I may be wrong about some of them but whatever you get the point, car guys hating on car guys). I get the sense that something similar is going on here.

    You can pick any sub-genre of motorcycling and make fun of the idiots of that group.

    Here are some examples of sport bike idiots:

    Harley idiots:

    Idiotic harley commercial about some macho bullshit:

    Here is a collection of commercials for sport bikes that promotes speeding:

    Also, have you noticed majority of motorcycle commercials always play on male insecurities, machoism or some such bull shit.

    I guess what I am trying to say is these hipsters are the new cool thing to hate. Crotch rockets and squids used to be the thing to hate and $20k OC choppers were also at some point. But why the hate. Embrace these kids or new riders. For whatever reason people get into motorcycles be it fashion, vanity, thirst for speed, showboating, youthful ignorance, or just a way to get a girl, the point is they are getting into motorcycles. My son is one of these hipsters I think (he wears skinny jeans). He got into vintage bikes and is working his ass off restoring them. I am happy to see that, I mean he is not glued to his computer or ipad anymore and is actually learning how to rebuild motors getting his hands dirty and I am teaching him how to weld now.

    So regarding these hipsters and how they are using motorcycles to sell stuff. I agree some of them are total bull shit. Companies have been using motorcycles to sell people shit for years, but don’t pretend like you haven’t been bought into some type of motorcycle subculture. If you have bought a motorcycle, gear, or anything related to motorcycles, I bet it was marketed to you and your specific demographic. You are no different than these hipsters my friend. We are all consumers! So I call bull shit on your hipster bashing (as much as I enjoy it).

    • According to this logic the only person it would be ok to criticize/make fun of would have to be the last idiot on earth.

    • It’s not about riding this bike or that bike, or anything specific to motorcycling, it’s about anybody who thinks their way of doing X is the only ‘authentic’ way of doing so.

      You can see why Harley riders would be frequent targets.

      Yes I agree with your gear statement, it was clearly marketed to my demographic of ‘people who don’t want to come apart in a crash’.

  11. What makes hipsters so galactically mock-worthy is that they hire video crews to memorialize their “rider lifestyles” in misguided efforts to appear uber-cool or profound. It’s like when dorky white guys who can’t dance try to show off in a disco. No one is impressed; instead everyone thinks “what a dork”. Nobody mocks someone who is actually suffering. But when people doing lame things attempt to glorify their own existence, placing themselves in the spotlight (without a clue as to how foolish they actually are)… well that’s an irresistible invitation to satire.

  12. “I think using your hands is one of those underrated things”….wait a minute I have to tend to some business :-)

  13. Looks like it was “funded”. Perhaps it will have the same effect that “Saturday Night Fever” had on disco…

  14. RSD sold out,end of story.Great video of Mike”Spike”Edwards showing him
    the WAY around Brand’s Hatch…Edward’s resume speaks for itself-a REAL

  15. Torque is epic. The best part for me is the opening scene, when they ride through the canyons. The young latino gentleman instantly becomes Mike Seate. A large black man.

    As far as Greasy goes. Yeah, Im a hipster. I loved the movie. Way better than that why we ride bullshit. But hey, i liked Choppertown, and I ride a scooter.

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