Creative reality

A fashion brand manager pays another man to build him a shitty motorcycle. Prepare yourself for this epic tale of hand wringing, drilling the well of his own creativity, and writing checks.

Gucci Chief Operating Officer Stuart Piercington here is eminently quotable, so here are a selection of his fine works.

“We started cutting apart jeans, jackets, shirts, and creating something out of nothing really.”

Because you know clothes were “nothing” until this moron ripped them apart and rubbed his creativity all over them. Pretty good analogy for what he’s doing with this motorcycle.

“Creativity is something that was inevitable for me.  I think from an early age mum recognized, being an artist, that I could draw.  It turned into quite a big deal.”

My mum put my pictures up on the refrigerator door.  This did not blow out my ego to such fantastic proportions that I felt my inevitable destiny was jerking around some mechanic with whatever loopy-loo idea I saw on BikeEXIF that week.

“This incredible sense of rough animal in the bike”

These guys all try to make their worn out 70s commuter bike sound like some ripsnorting performance racer at the very ragged edge of control and sense. If you removed or ruined all the suspension on a Toyota Corolla it would feel like a beast too.

“Picasso said, ‘The chief enemy of creativity is good sense.’  Maybe that’s the point about creating something, it’s not meant to be easy, and I guess it’s like being a furnace, you know, forging something.”

Da Vinci said, “Take this screw helicopter and shove it up your ass, you self-inflated prick.” The only thing this guy created was a shittier version of a motorcycle.  Or at least the signature on the check to pay for it.  All you aspiring artists, please stick to expressing yourself with papier mâché or charcoal or Tumblr soliloquies or whatever.  Motorcycles are not blank canvasses on which to ejaculate your self-importance. If you really like motorcycles, get one, make it run properly and go out and ride it.  Not every single thing in the world has to be a rolling ego exhibit.






“I didn’t pick up a cigarette ever again.  Here, this is what I was like, smoking.  Please record, for this moment is as ephemeral as the wafting waves.”


Update: It’s now for sale.

60 thoughts on “Creative reality

  1. well The exhaust did kind of remind me of the old Lake pipes on the hot rods of the 50s and 60s. I guess that was kind of cool

    • I agree! Lake pipes on hot rods are cool, just like miniskirts on pretty girls are cool. But this is a motorcycle. And no, I wouldn’t look cool in a miniskirt, either.

      No, I won’t make a video for Youtube, (Or produce a film for Vimeo) to prove that…

    • He mentions the pipe coming off a ‘Shinya bike’ implying this one or one very similar:

      It’s pretty much the only unusual element on a bike that’s otherwise pretty cookie cutter and dull, and it’s apparently just lifted entirely from a far more clever guy’s work, which just makes the pretentiousness that more grating.

      • Right on!

        Trivia: If I heard right, Shinya used an old Cadillac cast iron exhaust manifold for that. I think that is one of the 2 toughest looking custom bikes made (Shinya made the other). No emo/affected video needed.

  2. It all makes me feel so macho and irreverent watching a generation of soft handed models who wouldn’t enjoy throwing a punch. Heck, I drive a pick up and lay bricks, I even scratch my arse I want recognition of my talent.

  3. Fark! This site used to be pretty funny in its critisisms in what is/was perhaps a tedious trend in custom motorcycling. Perhaps rightly so. But somehow you lost the magic.

    Above you rip on someone for cutting apart and putting something back together, but isn’t that what you do here? Only, with just a little more faecal matter mixed in?

    Piss off with the ugly and bring back the funny. Here, you’re just being another asshole with a website.

  4. Do you think he thinks he is creative .?… I see this guy doing very well in the corporate fashion world of deep throating …

  5. I watched the whole thing. Al that guy did was fucking talk!! The bike itself is just another Ironhead. Nothing special. What did he create? What did he design? This fucking goof needs to learn who John Britten was……… that guy was a designer who created something and he used his own fucking hands

    • There’s a Britten featured on BikeExif, no, really! But that was a long time ago, or at least in internet years. Think it would get featured these days? Considering how far that site has pushed the dumbing down of motorcycle style (And has inspired a ton of low effort low talent “builds” by 15 minute fame whores), I doubt it. Mr. Mid Life Chrisis the Curator would probably just sniff and sneer at it while bellyaching about the colors.

      • Why the need to drag Bike EXIF into this? Have you even visited Bike EXIF lately? Some of the bikes featured recently have had some seriously nice work done to them (like the Renard T100 featured not too long ago, or the Kawasaki Z1 from Sanctuary). I’m afraid you’re a tad misinformed.

        • Tossing a few cherries on the manure wagon doesn’t make it the dessert cart.

          Why bring your boss’s site into this? He’s joined at the hip to all this bullshit. But at least the bikes in these videos move. The same can’tbe said for the obviously static display bikes you and your boss have featured.

            • PS. you should check out today’s Bike EXIF feature. It’s KTM 450 flat track race bike. Not only does it move, it actually gets raced. You might like it. When you’re done with that one you can read the feature on 2 guys that rode Honda XR600Rs from Canada to Chile. Just a couple of cherries for you 😉

  6. But don’t you see, it is “magnificent” (8:25). And it’s not just another iron-head, it’s an iron-head with a one-off gas cap, a weird pipe, a tooled leather seat, and some-kind of engraved timer cover. That surely makes it “magnificent” don’t you think, certainly the “best thing you’ve ever seen” (6:45)? Actually you have to wonder about the mental state of someone who tattoos his hands and fingers. I was kind of hoping for just a tiny moment of humor at the end where he might say “You know I think it looks pretty bad ass, but I have to admit, it rides and handles like sh*t so I’m selling it and buying a Burgman.”

  7. Who gives a shit if the guy paid someone else to build a bike? He even gives all credit to the builder. He seems pretty upfront and honest about the whole thing. Freely admiting that he didn’t have much to do with the build.You seem have it in for this YouTube channel. They’ve done some pretty nice vids. I really like the one about the guy whose wife is dying of breast cancer. He talks about copying another bike, having work done on it by other people too. It looks really similar to this bike, but in chrome. You should do that video!

    You could even write something like “McGoatee Sniffles even has a cry about his wife while snuggling up to his shiny custom vibrator”. You should SO do that video. No? Oh, that’s right. Because you only go after the easy stuff. Like the chicken-shit you are.

    • Chicken shit is this whole hipster (bowel) movement.
      Parading around pretending to be something you aren’t.
      Paying “homage” to the working man? PLEASE! By dressing up like “him” and paying others to do the real dirty work? By paying huge sums of money for hipster lifestyle aids? By maing the same stupid video with the same stupid music over and over again?

      Most of the losers caught up in this (bowel) movement wouldn’t have lasted 15 minutes in a real “working man” job like working in a saw mill or a factory. I know, it’s tough, it takes guts and need, I did 15 years of it.

      Take your fake shit, your store bought symbols, and your mouth full of garbage meaningless words and please GO AWAY!

      Are there no real people left in the world?

      • The difference between “hipsters” (whatever that is) and you is they don’t tend to bitch about other folks. Well, dude. Go and make a video about working in a saw mill for 15 years. Throw it up on YouTube and show us a real working man. Write something, start a blog, show us how it should be.

        • If I showed you a real working man you’d just try to emulate me.
          It’s funny, you call somebody on their bullshit and they get all hurt in the vagina, just like this guy.
          Now don’t you have some PBR to drink while wearing your authentic $80 t shirt?

    • You totally nailed us with that thing we never said bro. I love watching people get upset about things we’ve never said.

      • Everyone seems keen to attack things we never said and assume we’d go after cancer patients? Sounds like what was actually posted hit too close to home so they gotta make up bullshit. Bullshit seems to be their specialty.

        • Wasn’t making up bullshit. Just saying it would likely be something you’d do. Or not, coz you tend to go after the the easy pickings.

  8. I’d take his cash to build him a bike, but I’m a whore like that…don’t blame the builder he just wants to make a living, if I had a rich customer who wanted me to cut up a Vincent sure is hell I would as long as I was getting payed a shit ton to do it

    • Then you’re probably a cunt…. Unless you’ve earned the right by putting in a decade or two (to start) being dedicated to building Vincents to start with and picked one with no hope of being returned to stock. I restore and cut up Vincents, for an actual “living”…. But some asshat who doesn’t bother to learn anything BEFORE cutting one up, actually is a whore and won’t last long in the business. You’ll be a pariah. It’s not about the customers, it’s not about the money…. It’s about your craft and the machine. The machine is more important than the customer… And all good customers realize that.

      This guy, this bike, this video’s content…. Has no integrity. That’s just become so commonplace now that ‘we’ accept it, hell… Celebrate it. It’s a giant ego-maniacal jack-off session.

  9. you guys used to be funny, once. now you’re full of hate and your comments sound jealous. fuck you all.

  10. Good Lord! Does it get any more lame than this?? This guy pays someone to fabricate him a motorcycle and then makes a film about it. WTF. Have fun on your ride to Starbucks, Homes.

    PS: What is really lame is the fact that I wasted 9 minutes of my life watching this turd ramble on about fashion, which is what the entire hipster douchebag movement is truly about whilst using motorcycles as marketing prop. Please quit polluting my sport, assholes!

    most fun replies I’ve read for ages ;x

  12. I love the guy saying stop polluting our sport. Our sport? As in who’s sport? And what sport anyway? The guy/s in the video don’t give a flying fuck about sport, they are into something else, as are all these hipsters you talk about.
    I just don’t get what the fuck your problem is. Do you want everyone to ride around on Hayabusas in full (fluo) leathers just in case there’s a stretch long enough to hit 200mph before the traffic lights?
    Some people is just not into that kind of stuff, get over it and do your own thing. This way you just look jealous.

    • Lol at this guy, according to him the only two choices are playing dress up on shitty CB and making these insufferable videos or doing 200mph on a busa. Nothing else!

    • Thank you for your high-level argument, Davide. Allow me to enlighten you on, as you so eloquently put it, what the fuck my problem is. In a word: posers. They are toxic to all they touch, as illustrated by the alpha-poser in the above referenced video. I just don’t understand a grown man with an identity crisis latching on to a demographic by purchasing his way in. In my experience, this is standard operating procedure for most of the hipster clan. Of course, the same could be said of many motorcycle cliques: sportbike squids, Harley “bikers”, dirt bikers, adventure riders, etc. Anyway, enough of this drivel, I’ve got to get out for my daily 200MPH ride. Maybe I can pay Paul to come over and change the oil when I get back…

      • You say ‘toxic to all they touch’? For something to be toxic, there must be an actual negative impact… which in this case is what? Posers pose, and the real world rolls right on like before. It doesn’t stop turning because of them, and to act like it might seems more harm than the posers cause.

      • I’d really like to know how these people that actually ride bikes are posers? Last time I hung with a guy from the bandidos (I’d love to see you call one of them a poser), he was riding a 20 thousand dollar HD with about another umteen thousand in chrome. Like the author of the post, you sound jealous. You only hate them because you can’t afford to buy the level of bike they can. As for buying into it, isn’t that what we all do? The difference is how much you can afford.

        • There is nothing wrong with buying a nice motorcycle. However when you buy one and make a video about what an incredible journey it was and what talent it took on your part. You’ll be hearing from us. Also this guy proved himself to be a poser by putting that bike up for sale literally days after that video was released.

  13. Pingback: Creativity for sale | Bullshit Hipster Bike Videos

  14. Oh I’d love to fuck you but I guess in your own opinion you’re probably best left ‘as the factory intended! You clueless muthafucker,…… Art is all around us, some can create, some can purchase,… sad fucker can only criticise on something you can do neither on.

  15. I can see the humor in ragging on the hipsters, hell I make fun of everyone. But I also make fun of myself. But here you are just an ass. I think it’s more jealousy on your part really. You rip these guys apart like you have a personal grudge against them. What’s there not to like about a guy that can take apart one thing and make something totally different with the parts? And make a living out of it! I say god bless em. As for the bike. It’s a freaking work of art! And I’d love to ride it.

  16. Interview with the actual bike builder went something like this:

    Interviewer: “Hey man, we are interested in hearing more about the bike build of the wonderful – Forge. Care to share your views on this particular build?”

    Builder: “Awwww seriously. Farrrrkk….. Gee. Where to start. Ok (takes a deep breath)… What an excruciating build and an absolute dickhead of a client. Was the most difficult build yet for me, the bike turned out amazing really and I was really happy with it overall, but the client… shit. I can’t even begin to explain the situation but I will make a feeble attempt one the less. Imagine the most fucked up, wannabe fashion-coolio who was obsessed about aesthetics, yet knew nothing about motorcycles, was an incredibly opinionated ‘expert’ due to the fact he is apparently a ‘designer’ and somehow knows best, all this despite not knowing what he really even wanted. He had no vision of the bike, whereas I knew exactly what to build from the get-go. It was like trying to do your job with an asshole being spread over each eyeball and each finger tip simultaneously. Each email. Each phone call. The pain. Even when he finally stopped bombarding me with thesis-length noob emails which I didn’t read and phone calls that were unbelievably noob-ville-like I could still taste the shit stains splattered over my face from this fucking mother fucker. This guy was so full of shit that it oozed out of his $4000 leather manbag, actually oozing is a tad of an understatement. This douche claims that this bike blossomed and flew out of his creativite Hercules-style aircraft rear entrance after his herculean ‘design’ effort. In the end, I could have built him a shopping trolley with leather tassles, brass accent fittings and perhaps the occasional steam punkesque whatever the fuck hipster thing that is in right now, but in the end I just built a bike that I thought may actually kill this dickwad. Gave it no front suspension in an attempt to break this guys balls and with a bit of luck jam them up his hipster arse butt plug style in an effort to slow the gush. It was some payback really. Sure, I charged him $200,000 for the build, which I knew was a ripoff from the beginning, …me of course thinking, ‘yep lets take this no-nothing dick for a ride with this build’ – but seriously… I really earn’t every mother-fucking cent and then some, having to deal with this ‘creative spirit’. ‘Designer’. Lol. Fark. Never again”.

  17. The thing is with most of the ppl posting on this site is that this whole movement is just a way of life for most of these ppl in the vids, if you sat down and had a brew with most of these guys you’d probably find they were decent fellas, just let them live. Aloe of these vids have pretentious douche bags in them absolutely but a lot of them are just normal ppl living there lives so chill the fuc out haters.

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