Feel Good Friday

I know it’s not Friday.

There might be some people out there who don’t know this, but Flat Track isn’t just a type of custom motorcycle. I know you love your “street trackers” and the bearded heroes that ride them but real Flat Track is still alive.

Some might be interested in knowing that it’s a real life sport. With lots of amateur and pros who compete in it, crazy huh? There are race tracks all over the country and people go there to watch or partake in competition. Save that $40 you were going to spend on a that faux vintage flat track t-shirt and spend that money at a real race instead.

There won’t be any cold pressed coffee or gourmet food available  and the garish colors and crude logos of the sponsors might clash with the design aesthetic of tight jean set but give it a try, you might enjoy yourself.

Booty snap

This was submitted to us yesterday and while the video is ripe with shit to make fun of, I mean really some of the names and accents in this video are just hilarious, our real problem here is with GoPro.

What the fuck, GoPro? You couldn’t find any other female riders to sponsor? Funny how all the male motorcyclists you guys sponsor are usually professional riders, but instead of sponsoring one of the few pro female riders, who I’m sure could use the sponsorship, you guys decided to fund this pack of Etsy refugees. I guess Melissa Paris or Elena Meyers wouldn’t agree to setting up GoPros for tit shots while riding around in tank tops. Even if you wanted street riders, there are plenty of women doing things of value and interest and not walking around in sequin panties.

Also if any of the women from this video are by any chance reading this stupid site: Please buy some gear.  Speaking from personal experience, when you go tits up (get it?) it’s going to very very painful if you do it in jorts and a tanktop. Just some brotherly advice.

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What is this for exactly?

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Genius

We want to make one thing very clear, we’re not mad at this man, he’s obviously a talented metalworker and a genius at marketing, a visionary! He’s going to make a lot of money, think about it. What’s the first step for any trustafarian bike builder? Ditching perfectly good fenders because they don’t flow with the lines of the bike or whatever. We’ve seen dozens of videos where in beardos blather on about stripping away unnecessary bits from a motorcycle, and  in their PBR addled brains fenders serve no purpose.

Now this brilliant man has figured out how to resupply them with the same fenders. Except this time they’re handmade and extra authentic because they’re made in a dimly lit barn. He even nailed the name, “Cooper Smithing Co”, in the minds of beardos that name brings up images of gritty men in leather aprons making barrels to store the latest microbrew and that makes their delicate weens all misty.

God speed, good sir.

Lazy

 

We’re too lazy to write posts, so instead I’ll just post the description of this new Iron & Resin video. I swear this is direct from their vimeo page. Reading it feels like being hit over the head with a liberal arts diploma by a limp wristed beardo.

 

“Joshua Tree, in the heart of the Mohave, is truly a spectacle to behold. Packing a few essentials, we left our home and made a hasty retreat across the inland sprawl of Southern California and into another world seeking refuge and adventure. Rugged mountains of twisted rock and exposed granite monoliths testify to the tremendous earth forces that shaped and formed this land. Joshuatrees standing sentinel, with up stretched arms resolute against the unrelenting sun. Here the golden hour seemed to last forever and we scrambled over boulders, hiked endless rivers of sand, and rode our desert sleds into electrifying sunsets.

Nights were spent under a full moon, huddled in the welcome chill around a fire, sharing whiskey and a meal among good friends. And like the desert creatures that make this place their home, we too found refuge under the desert sky. Our Spring 2015 collection is inspired by our adventures in the Mojave Desert. Yucca, buckwheat, allysum, and juniper along with the arroyos , granite and desert varnish form an impressionistic landscape of color against a brilliant sky.

For our Spring line, you’ll find rich, desert washed hues, bands of color, heavy washes and custom wovens that tell our story through color and texture and silhouettes with a style nod to our western heritage. Goods designed for rambling and wandering in a world where refuge is available for those willing to discover it.”

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The end is nigh

They’ve started to turn on their own kind, while trying to steal our steez. This is a sign.

As it was, so shall it be again. Just as the terrible terrible chopper trend of the early 2000′s came to an end so will this hipster nonsense. Soon these urban beardsmen will move on to something new, the only trace that they were ever here will be the glut of overpriced “custom” Hondas on craigslist.

Ducati the Freshmaker!

The last few years the big factories have been aiming bikes directly at lazy hipsters. The ones who can’t be bothered to find some shit heap, make it worse and produce a pretentious video about how much it means to make terrible things. They want 2nd tier hipsters and can you blame them? These well heeled trustafarians are particularly easy to part from their (parents) money.  Even the Germans were trading in their lab coats for high end denim this year with the release of the R Nine T, so it’s no surprise that Ducati wants in on the act.

As it was in WWII, so it is now, the Italians simply aren’t in the same league as the Germans. BMW were smart enough to pay established bullshit artists like El Solitario to produce their videos for extra credibility. The Italians took a swing at producing their own video. The result? Well the result is a mix between a Mentos ad and a hipster bike video. They have all the elements, grating music, fake drag races, pushing over a guy taking a piss but they miss the mark somehow. There is no self importance, no talk of connection between man and machine not even a single meaningful look into the camera.

Honorable mention goes to this Husqvarna video, in which they use things like urban camping and models to try and trick hipsters into buying a modern motorcycle. They’re trying to convince these civil war beard enthusiasts that maybe a shit box Honda from the 70s isn’t the be all and end all of motorcycling. We wish them luck.

Humper S Toddler

Sorry guys we’re all kinda busy and bored with the site at the moment. To all the people sending feedback and recommendations we’ll get around to reading them soon. In the mean time have a good laugh and read this, been cracking us up ever since we saw it.  http://www.chinonthetank.com/2013/08/rulers-run/

 

“Every year towards late August a handful of rare souls converge together to wreak havoc on the streets of Brooklyn, like some horrid natural phenomenon emerging from the sea to consume an entire city. “

By which he means some hipsters from Philly went to NYC to do some shopping and attend a motorcycle show.

“Eventually we set out for food down Bedford Ave., looking as if some brutes were set loose from their cage.” 

Yeah check these dudes out, they don’t look anything like every single person in Broolyn, they’re brutes, savages, freaks so different from every other 20 something in BK. IMG_7704_lr

 

“Somewhere around 1:30, I scouted out Manhattan in search of some threads and found no traffic to be had from Brooklyn to the tunnel (our exit strategy for later that day). I made my way back to the show and met the rest of our group.”

Uggh don’t you just hate it when you come back from a shopping trip empty handed.