Kickstarter Feel Good Friday

Kickstarters are usually dumb but this one is an exception, these two chicks have been making their way to the tip of south America and need your help. Unlike the usual “fund my vacation” pitches, these two put this whole thing together on their own dime, they just under estimated and had a bit of bad luck and now need some extra cash to help finish their trip. I like watching their vids, go give them some duckets.

Done here https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/4955064/motoventuring-two-chicks-ride-to-argentina

You can watch their videos from the road here https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCCno4pMFp5d5gLkPDuQEDQw

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Cringe Pic

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We laughed pretty hard at this, I mean I buy a lot of my tools at Harbor Freight but I’m a cheap asshole goofing around in my garage. This is supposedly a custom bike builder and “lifestyle brand” based in Brooklyn. If you’re going to pretend to be a custom bike builder don’t buy every single tool from Harbor Freight. Nothing goes better with 30 year old bikes than 12 point sockets, if your mission is to strip every single bolt on the bike.

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What is this dude taking a break from doing? My guess, arranging everything on this workbench to make it perfect for his instagram. Imagine him placing the can of Bud, standing back, “yeah that’s perfect now it looks like a mechanic from 1975 owns this”

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Beardo Hegemony

Watching this video was hard, it all felt so familiar. I had to scan back through the blog to make sure we hadn’t already posted about it. This happens a lot, most of what we see here we’ve seen in other videos many many times. A bunch of bikes parked in frame while some very particular looking  people do things in front of or around them. Everything was so dull and repetitive, I wasn’t having any luck coming up with mean enough jokes. Just as I was about to close the window I noticed that this event took place in Australia!

Wow who could have guessed it? It’s all the same dopey shit we’ve seen in videos from around the world. This got me thinking, this video could have been anywhere in the world and the crowd would look pretty much the same. Portland, San Francisco, London, Paris or really any city in the world with a white enough population. This is quite an achievement!

Congratulations you jack offs, your image bullshit now rivals the globe spanning breadth of Harley morons. Your neck tattoos, topiary bush facial hair, anachronistic hats, hitler youth haircuts and work boots are on par with best of what the weekend pirates in the Harley world could come up with. Hipster Hegemony has been achieved.

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Wheels and Wankers

Someone pointed us to the website for an event called Wheels and Waves and boy, I haven’t stopped laughing since. What is this bullshit? Google translate is a little funny, from what I can tell it’s a bunch of euro hipsters meeting up for a weekend to go for a ride in some French town. Instead of meeting up  and just riding your motorcycle it has to be an “event”. You see they wouldn’t be caught dead doing something as pedestrian as going for a ride with some friends.

Don’t be a fucking idiot! How can anyone be expected to go out and enjoy a motorcycle ride without, brand sponsors, photographers,  film crews and art shows, you uncultured swine! How can you sit on your motorcycle if it’s not directly behind a camera van? For some good laughs, go here and look at the photos and videos section of this site. http://www.wheels-and-waves.com/photos   ww14-benoit-guerry-002-682x1024Ah yes, essential in every motorcyclist’s tool kit. $7000 Camera, never leave home without it. Never know when you’ll need to pull over to the side of the road and take pictures of yourself holding tools.

ww14-benoit-guerry-043-682x1024See what I mean! When your hair looks this good after wearing a helmet, a high quality camera is needed to document it.

ww14-dimitri-coste-001-1024x682“Hurry guys, the camera van is leaving, everyone comb your beards and put on your badass face”

ww14-benoit-guerry-017-1024x682 (1)This guy is very upset he forgot his headlight tape at home.

ww14-benoit-guerry-018-1024x682So cute, these guys decided to coordinate their costumes. I want to believe that they all just bought some vintage flights suits from ebay but I have feeling they’re wearing this nonsense because some company is selling these as motorcycle riding gear for some ludicrous price.

ww14-benoit-guerry-012-682x1024Hmmm, a guy on a very nice bevel drive Ducati, wearing a modern helmet and actual riding gear. Maybe the poor guy got lost and ended up in the middle of this group of posers?

ww14-benoit-guerry-011-682x1024Oh man this bike again! How have these guys just not been laughed out of every single motorcycle related thing ?

ww14-dimitri-coste-035-1024x682Well at least this helmet manufacturer is honest about who they make their helmets for, rich idiots in costumes.

ww14-benoit-guerry-019-682x1024He always travels with his personal photographer.

ww14-benoit-guerry-042-1024x682“hehehe yeah and then BMW gave me a free motorcycle can you believe it”

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ROLF LAUREN

Reader David sent this our way.

We weren’t sure about making fun of French people, we’ve avoided doing it in the past. The problem is, it’s too hard to spot a French hipster. For all we know, riding a vintage motorcycle to an art gallery party, wearing grandpas WWII jacket, eating cave aged cheese with a classic bowie knife while listening to some rare blues record could just be another Tuesday for a regular french guy. It’s very difficult to tell.

Luckily this video is a bit more cut and dry. Fashion brand Ralph Lauren saw how much money there was in selling over priced jeans to these well heeled beardos and decided to get in the game. Good news for them, every single “motorcycle builder” is also a fashion brand in this world, so they should fit right in, look forward to buying their gear at Bloomingdales.

This ride must have been a dream for some of these riders, getting to play pretend with like minded folks and do a 60 mile ride which ends at a high end fashion boutique, what else could a motorcyclist ask for.

http://www.rrlriders.com/

Pretty good looking Vincent and BSA can be spotted in the video if you can look past all the yellow headlights and beards. insta

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Show us ze papers

Leave it to the Germans to distill hipster videos down to their very essence and then execute one with Teutonic precision and proficiency.

We couldn’t help but imagine Germans in lab coats arguing over how many times the word soul must be used or what is the appropriate length of beard.

“nein! ze flussdiagramm clearly states there must be DUST CLOUDS in ze drag race”

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Repost: Biarrich

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Here is another old post, we’re gonna repost.

Here is yet another commercial for some jeans, this time a bunch of funemployed mechanics take a ride from London to Biarritz, a beach resort in the south of France.

Why is it when one of these groups of perfectly coiffed chin hair enthusiasts get together to shoot a video, one of them inevitably has to turn some wrenches? It’s usually on the side of the road and always in range of a fancy camera. Do these denim engineers not check this shit before they leave home? Has no one figured out how to sell Loctite to hipsters?

Hey Loctite marketing dept, this is how you sell to these beardos,

1. Change your name to “Old Pappy’s Hold Em Serum” in a swooshy font

2. Make your product available in pomade tins

3. Charge $50 for it

4. Make it available in coffee shops.

Boom! We’ll be expecting our check in the mail.

 

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Bandanna is a totally viable replacement for a front fender you guys.

Other highlights:

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